According to the Sidran Institute, approximately 70 percent of U.S. adults have experienced a traumatic event at least once in their lives. There are two ways humans process these negative events. The first is to believe they have been irreparably harmed. A person who processes trauma with this belief will think they are something less than they were before the trauma. The second way humans process trauma is to believe that they are stronger, smarter, and better prepared for the future.
When you experience trauma in your life, you are harmed, but what comes after varies for different people. Some believe they are less, while others believe they are more. When one believes they have somehow improved, it is called post-traumatic growth syndrome. There isn’t much literature on this, and there hasn’t been much research done, but the idea is that someone is able to improve in a significant way after the trauma.
How we process our traumas was studied by Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler, both psychoanalysts, each with different beliefs about trauma and how it is processed.
Freud believed that your traumas were permanent and the source of your unhappiness. When this is true, the person with the trauma creates a narrative that supports their current state or limitations. This concept is called etiology; it means the cause of the disease. It’s something like, “Because of this trauma, I cannot…” We must credit Freud for laying the foundation of understanding human behavior and trauma, even if many would argue it is outdated in its negative bias.
Adler, by contrast, believed that no single negative event could cause you to fail in the future. You and I create the meaning of the trauma to explain ourselves. This concept is called teleology, meaning the purpose we serve, not the cause. It is something like, “Because of this trauma, I can…” Modern psychology was influenced by Adler and his more optimistic theories that find humans more resilient and capable of growth.
Freud would find you broken, while Adler would find you stronger, smarter, and able to move on with your life toward what you might call success. The scar that starts at my forehead and ends behind my right ear is the result of two brain surgeries. I was 25 when I experienced the trauma of losing a piece of my right temporal lobe and the grand mal seizure that had sent me to UCLA Medical Center.
After the surgeries, I met with my neurologist. He asked me to fill out a form that would have me choose between being permanently disabled or temporarily disabled. I asked him if I was permanently disabled, and his answer was, “You are, if you believe you are.” I checked the box marked temporary disability and moved on with my life, refusing to believe I was something less after the trauma.
After the surgeries, I went to college, law school, and Harvard Business School. That was nine years of education, after I had spent every day trying to drop out of high school.
How to Flip the Script
Trauma is processed in the brain, including the amygdala, hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex. Studies show that neuroplasticity enables the brain to rewire itself after a trauma, and some suggest it supports psychological resilience.
You and I must choose between Freud and Adler. If you want to flip the script, you must look for what you gained from a negative event, even if it is something like, “I will not allow that to happen again,” or, “I have learned to avoid this negative event.” But some traumas are unavoidable, like two brain surgeries or an automobile accident, something you may not be able to avoid even if you try your best.
It can be difficult to process a negative event if you focus on the negative instead of on what you have learned. It can also be challenging to process the positive outcome. But if you find what your trauma teaches you, you may find a lesson that leaves you improved by a negative event.
For some, therapy can help process trauma and foster post-traumatic growth. Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help. A meta-analysis of 39 studies showed that CBT reduced PTSD symptoms by 70 percent. According to the American Psychiatric Association, less than 2 percent of people who experience trauma and seek professional help report worsening symptoms.
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