Tackling Negativity-A Salesperson's Guide to Thriving Amid Rejections

For as long as I have been writing here, I have written about the importance of mindset. Your mindset is critical, and selling is in some ways different from other business roles. If you were an accountant, you would not be competing with several accountants. You may have a problem making the numbers balance, but the numbers won’t choose another person to tally your balance sheet.

Occasionally, a young person, new to professional B2B sales will ask about how to deal with rejection. Most of the time, they are asking about hearing the word “No” when making cold calls. They believe the client is rejecting them, even though the prospective client was only rejecting their request for a meeting. As the Godfather, Don Corleone, famously said, “It’s not personal, it’s business.”

What comes next isn’t pretty. When you lose a deal, the rejection is real. Your client decided they have no interest working with you. Your contact and their team decided their business was safer in the hands of another salesperson, one who created value in the sales conversation. Not to worry, you can learn to create a preference to buy from you.

Unraveling the Roots of Negativity

Scientists believe we have something called negativity bias. The theory is that we would not have survived since the Paleolithic era if we weren’t negative. As a cave dweller, you would need to hunt animals, the same animals hunting you. Negativity may have caused us to be more careful and cautious.

Here is what you need to know about negativity bias:

1. Intensity of negative emotions: Your negative emotions are stronger than your positive ones.
2. Proximity to negative events: The closer you get to a negative event, the faster your negativity accelerates.
3. Negative override: If you have a positive event and a negative one, you’ll tend to be negative.
4. Brain resource utilization: Your brain uses a lot of resources to reflect and process the negative events.

This is one of the two reasons you are more negative than positive. The second reason you are negative is because the rate of change in our environment is difficult to keep pace with. The events of the day stack up, one on top of the other, things like war in Ukraine and the Middle East, the highest inflation in four decades, interest rates so high that people are unable to buy homes, and political divisiveness that will only grow as we get closer to another election.

Physiological Approaches to Negativity Mitigation

It helps to know that you have a negativity bias, just like everyone else. It also helps to know that the rate of change has long been known to cause us to be negative. We live in a time where the rate of change has accelerated to ludicrous speed.

• Adequate sleep: The first thing you might do to be more positive and less negative is to take care of your physical health. It’s easy to be negative if you don’t feel well. Start by getting no less than seven hours of sleep, more if you need it. You should not feel bad for sleeping more. Remember that, among other things, your body won’t create the killer immune cells that remove cancer if you are sleep deprived. In addition to supporting your physical health, sleep can help you be more positive.
• Balanced nutrition: If you eat well, you will also reduce your odds of being negative. Healthy food has an impact on your mood and your attitude. A box of Milk Duds is going to taste great, but after your sugar spikes, you are likely to crash. Salad with lean meat will help you feel better and reduce your negativity.
• Hydration and exercise: Hydration is also a factor. Most of the time, we walk around dehydrated. If you have headaches, it can be a sign you need water. Adding exercise to your morning routine will do much for your mindset.

Mastering the Mental Game in Sales

Your mindset has a tremendous bearing on your ability to stay positive, even when things don’t go your way. It also helps you improve your performance and understand what you can control and what you cannot.

• Ownership of outcomes: You know how you believe you won that big deal? Take credit for your win, as you should. But remember that owning your outcomes goes both ways. When you lose a deal, you can fall into a negativity trap if you fail to own your role in the outcome. If you tell yourself that your prospective client didn’t understand the solution or decided to buy from a bottom feeder who gave them a much lower price, you are likely to be negative. You can control more than you may think, which can be liberating to understand.
• Learning from losses: By taking credit for your wins and your losses, you can make changes that will improve your performance in the future. If you believe your client is to blame for the loss, you will miss the lesson. The best thing about a loss being your fault is it means you can learn something that will help you win in the future.

Navigating Self-Talk in Sales

Adjusting what you say to yourself and others can help you gain confidence and avoid negativity.

• Positive reinforcement: You know that voice only you can hear? That voice isn’t always helpful. It might say something like, “You are no good at this. You would make a better barista than a salesperson.” Negativity bias is not always very helpful, it can cause you to talk yourself into a negative state.
• Constructive criticism: You can also talk yourself out of a negative state by taking control of your self-talk. You might tell yourself that, “I know what I did wrong, and I am going to change it in my next sales meeting.” Instead of allowing your inner voice to cause you to be negative, tell yourself, “I am in a slump, and I am going to double my efforts and break out of it.”
• Application of the trading-value rule: Now, about the rejection when you ask for a meeting, know that you can improve your ability to get on your prospective client’s calendar by following the trading-value rule.

Controlling Negativity for Salespeople

In a role where you are certain to hear the word no frequently, it is easy to allow yourself to be negative. Remember that won’t help you improve your ability to succeed in sales.

When you lose deals you believed you would win, and when you feel stung by rejection, the mental game is critical. If you are new to sales, know that, over time, you will be desensitized to hearing no or losing a deal. Every successful salesperson eventually adapts to the nature of B2B sales.

Should you want more practical strategies to reduce negativity and help you be more positive more of the time, pick up a copy of The Negativity Fast: Proven Techniques to Increase Positivity, Reduce Fear, and Boost Success. Be sure to pick up the bonus material.