The Truth About LinkedIn Insincerity: How to Build Genuine Connections

Tired of fake LinkedIn messages cluttering your inbox? Discover how to spot insincerity and build genuine connections.

The oozing insincerity is too much. Yes, we are talking about how some of our brothers and sisters use LinkedIn. Here are a few samples:

We’re impressed by your outstanding achievements . . .

We are impressed by what iannarino is doing . . .

I'm somewhat curious about your field as well, and I'm hoping we can share our experiences with each other and explore new horizons and possibilities. [It’s too bad that this person wasn’t only somewhat interested in my field.]

Your profile left a positive impression on me . . .

Hello, I looked at your profile and found that you have very high achievements. I'm fascinated by what you've accomplished in this field. Can we share knowledge in each other's fields?

The Impact of LinkedIn Insincerity

This has gone on long enough. These messages waste everyone’s time, including that of the false, fake, and wholly insincere folks who spam people with such revolting flattery.

You and I live in a post-truth world. Much of what you and I encounter each day is fake. This is true when it comes to the news media, the internet, and social platforms.

We may never know who is responsible for suggesting that relationships should start with deceit, but this advice harms the spammers who use this most unwelcome strategy.

The deceit is that the person is hiding their real intentions. Some want to convert you by offering a compliment without any information that would cause them to believe you deserve it. This is like giving a kid a participation trophy for coming in ninth place. If you feel down and need to feel better, scroll through the messages and read the nice things from people who have never met you.

Others are trying to rob you of your money. It seems that there are quite a few beautiful women who are really men trying to get you to buy crypto and drain your bank account. By the way, crypto doesn’t provide dividends, you are better off with a better vehicle for growing your nest egg. And pretty women don’t turn up out of nowhere sharing great investment advice.

The Importance of Trust in the Digital Age

One of the principles I live by is: The truth at any price, even the price of a deal. When I was 12 years old, I lived in an apartment complex. The kid who lived in the apartment behind mine knocked on my door to see if I would walk with him to collect money for his Boy Scout troop. He was dressed in his Boy Scout uniform, and we knocked on what must have been more than 100 houses. As we were getting close to our apartments, he took all the checks and chucked them down the sewer, stuffing the cash in his pocket. I was stunned, and I asked why did this and he smiled and said: I’m not a Boy Scout. Last I heard William was locked up in San Quentin. He would fit in the post-truth era with no problem.

The value of trust is certain to grow in the future. There is another principle you may want to consider: You should never start a relationship with a lie. Those who use this post-truth strategy are harming themselves, even though they don’t care about the truth. Once they establish that they are false, you can expect more of the same.

Identifying Insincere Connections

If you start a conversation with a lie, you are building a reputation for being insincere. The more you use this duplicity will result in your being identified as a fraud. I hope you never start a relationship with a lie. There are plenty of ways to make money without being a liar. You would do better to become a person who is known for their integrity, the kind of person people trust to do business with.

The Value of Honesty in Business

I really don’t want to buy the cover of a magazine. I also have no real need to replace my CRM. I am not going to fly to India to collect an award for something that I didn’t know I did. But, given the choice of lying and attempting flattery or being candid enough to ask to pitch me, I would prefer the truth.

One salesperson called me to tell me I was doing something wrong. It turned out that he was correct. He shared what I had done wrong, and he asked me if I would let him share how to improve my results. I agreed, and a day later I bought his solution.

Most of the time, the person you pitch isn’t likely to need what you sell. But you are better off telling the truth than starting a relationship with a lie. You don’t want to be like William. There is no problem asking for an opportunity to share something that your contact may or may not be interested in at the time. Most will reject the offer, but if you work hard and consistently, you will find the people who need whatever you sell—as long as you are not selling a lie.