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Arguing Is Alienating

The salesperson sent me an email to tell me that I am wrong and he is right. I suggested that his company was not a good fit for me, and he told me I wasn’t thinking clearly.

He began by telling me that his product had improved since the last time I used it, and that basing my decision on their old product would be like comparing the iPhone 7 to the original iPhone. Then he told me that I had complained about his industry’s unwillingness to keep up with modern technologies. He said that his company had moved to new technologies over the last few years.

All of this, when I didn’t express any concern over the product. I am sure the product is very good, and I am sure they have made the major improvements he suggested. The product was not at all expressed in my email reply to his pitch asking that I might speak with him, nor did I say anything about my current partner, the one he made sure to address directly in his first email.

This salesperson went on to argue that my concern was unfounded. In fact, many of his clients chose him because they feel the exact opposite when it comes to the issue over which I was concerned. He continued, telling me not to believe the reviews, the lawsuits, or anything I read from disgruntled employees. To the contrary, these people were all bad actors, and they should be ignored.

Then, to finish his argument, he used statistics to prove to me that his company was the choice of big companies in my space, and that they dominate the market.

All of this was done over email, the worst possible medium for this communication. Instead of picking up the phone to call me and ask me about my concerns, he decided to try to change my mind by sending me an in argumentative email telling me that I am wrong to believe what I believe, and that his beliefs to the contrary are the beliefs I should share.

This is not selling. It is not how you resolve concerns. It is not how you build relationships, and it is not how you influence other people to your way of thinking.

I am certain he believes he made good points. His problem is that I do not, and that his unwillingness to get in tune with me means that I will tune him out.

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Filed under: Psychology

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