We can’t trust you if you tell us that you’re perfect. We don’t believe anyone is perfect. We don’t believe that anyone has developed to the point where there is nothing left to improve.
We can trust you if you make things sound easy. If you downplay the financial investment or the investment of time and energy, it hits a sour note. We know that what we really want isn’t easy or we’d already have it.
It’s very difficult to trust someone who has never made mistakes. That’s an indication that they have never really done anything like what they’re proposing, that they don’t understand the magnitude of the change the recommending, or they’re fibbing.
We don’t believe that it’s a straight and certain path from where we are now to where we want to go, if only we will make the commitment you are asking us to make. Our experience tells us that the path isn’t straight, and the traveling isn’t easy. It sounds too good to be true, so we believe it isn’t.
If we can’t see the flaws, if we can’t see the creases and the places where the seams are a little frayed, we doubt what we’re seeing is real. That manufactured perfection is not the same as authentic scars and scrapes.
It’s very difficult to believe in a story where everything is perfect, because that’s not how stories go. There is always a dragon that is unconquerable, a villain who is indestructible, or some mountain that appears insurmountable. There is always a challenge, adversity, risk, and potential reward. But only potential, no guarantees.
When you tell us about your limitations, your failures, your mistakes, and the eventual success you find only after you’ve learned and made adjustments, your vulnerability makes it easy to believe you.
Perfection is a lie.
If it takes you three times to get it right, then say it will take you three times to get it right. We’ll believe you.
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Filed under: Attitude