How do you know if you are unwilling to change and grow?
First, if you believe that you are unequivocally right, then you are not ready to change. If you believe that your beliefs are the right beliefs, and that no others need be considered, you are not ready to change.
You are not ready to change if you believe that your beliefs represent the absolute truth, and that anything else is untrue, false, or a blatant lie. If you believe that nothing that conflicts with your beliefs can be true, then you are not yet ready to change.
If you cannot be wrong, then you cannot change. If you cannot change, you cannot grow. If you haven’t changed some long-held, fundamental belief lately, you haven’t grown lately either.
Second, if you have to defend your beliefs and your actions at all costs, you aren’t ready to change. When someone points out that other beliefs are available to you, as well as the better or different results that come with those beliefs, the need to defend your beliefs is evidence that you aren’t ready to take in new input, new ideas, or the new beliefs that might produce new results.
If you feel compelled to entrench yourself deeper to protect yourself from having to admit that you are wrong, and to protect yourself from having to change, your defense is evidence that you aren’t ready.
If you are busy defending your beliefs, then you cannot take on new beliefs. The more you defend your beliefs and your behavior, the more you feel the need to further defend your beliefs and your behavior. You may feel safe in the giant fortress you have built for yourself. But ultimately, you have dug a huge hole in which to bury yourself, and digging deeper only makes for a tougher climb out.
Third, as part of your defense, you seek evidence that confirms your belief, regardless of how tenuous, and ignore or reject any evidence that would challenge your existing beliefs. Ideas, facts, information, other people’s experiences . . . none of this matters, because it conflicts with your beliefs.
If your beliefs were true, if they were serving you, then evidence to the contrary wouldn’t bother you. You would happily look at that evidence, knowing that it is no threat to you or your beliefs.
You Can Change
Nothing here suggests that you are incapable of change. Anyone can change at any time, once they are ready. You can make a single decision and in one-tenth of a second be transformed. What one person can do, so can others. Lots of people change.
Even though you are capable of change, you may not be willing to change. And it’s the willingness that matters most of all. Once you are willing, the willingness begins to work on you immediately.
You are free to believe whatever you want. But you are not free from the consequences of those beliefs.