My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes–most of which never happened.
Your mind has an amazing ability to conjure up “terrible misfortunes.”
You had an excellent first sales call with your dream client. You agreed on the next steps that would advance the opportunity for you and move your dream client closer to their goal. But you received an email canceling the meeting, asking you if you could reschedule in a few weeks.
The first thing your mind conjures up is that your dream client is no longer interested. You’ve lost the opportunity. Someone persuaded her not to move forward. It’s over.
It’s just as likely that your dream client got busy. It’s likely that some urgency in her world needs her attention, and as much as she’d like to move forward, something else is commanding her attention right now.
Try this one. Have you ever had a client that took days to reply to your email? How about a client that didn’t reply to a text message … at all? Doesn’t your mind automatically conjure up the worst possible explanation as to why your dream client has responded?
How You Respond to the Fear You Made Up
How you respond to events like these can be very different based on what you believe. If you believe the worse, you may overreact. I’ve had salespeople leave me the worst messages when I’ve struggled to return their calls during the process. The worst response ever sounded like this, “You haven’t returned my calls or emails, so I am going to assume you aren’t interested. I won’t call or email anymore.” (see the problem with ultimatums) In this salesperson’s mind, my inability to return their call and emails meant I was avoiding them, that I wasn’t interested, and that there was no opportunity. The reality was something different.
I have a client with a complicated life. When he doesn’t reply to a call, a message, or a text, it simply means he is busy with his complicated life. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t really want to take your call, respond to your email, or reply to your text. But it’s disconcerting to everyone, until they learn it means nothing.
It’s All You
There is a certain arrogance to believe your dream client is thinking about you at all. Most of the time, you don’t even cross their mind. Instead of assuming the worst, assume that that your dream client’s best intentions were derailed by some urgency and act accordingly.
What kind of stories do you tell yourself that have no real basis in fact?
What do assume the worst outcome?
Why don’t we assume things are going to go our way?
Most of the time, is your fear proven wrong?